Tip for the Day: Set Tomorrow Free and Be Enough

We hear it all the time – live for the moment.  Be happy for today. Don’t stress about tomorrow. However, if we don’t think about tomorrow, then how do we define the purpose of today? Kind of makes your head spin, right?

I didn’t realize how much of my life I had wrong. As a coach, I sometimes would lose sleep over my plan – what I wanted to do tomorrow, next week and even next year – so much so, that days would go by in a blink of an eye with all of this to-doing. Well, the question is – how much planning/doing and “to-doing” should we “do” to help us get to the next level in our lives tomorrow? When is it so much so that we are not embracing today?

Uh oh. Are we being lazy by setting tomorrow free? I think coach potatoes anonymous may have something to say about this.

Lately, I have been obsessing over the term “enough.” In my opinion, I think we are an “enough” crazed society with people I meet always wanting to be, look and have everyone always  enough. Don’t you agree?

But I think we have lost our own definition of “enough” along the way. How we define our “enoughness” is different between you and me, kind of like how we define success. What I want most likely is not what you want. And, to take it a step further, when I feel fulfilled with my “enoughness” may not be at the same time you feel good. Are we trying to set goals to run from who we are today and seek more self-fulfillment? Or are we doing it to fill a void of not enough?

Today I was feeling less than centered and anxious about tomorrow – as I pay bills, make lists of stuff to do for my son’s college search while I took inventory of house upgrades that needed attention. You know the drill. This is when you start to panic when all of the things on your to do list make their way in a big fat pile to your living room floor. That being said, it still isn’t so bad and this is why.

I had to take my own inventory of “enoughness” and this is what I surmised. I have a roof over my head, some money in the bank, it is absolutely beautiful outside, I am healthy, my kids are doing great and I have a fiance that is less than thrilled with my over-worrying. That being said, where do you think my day is headed? You are right – it will be caught up in the tornado of not – enoughness and over obsessing about tomorrow. What’s the antidote – let tomorrow go – even for a little while – to embrace your enoughness of today.

I have enough. I really do. In fact, too much enough as I look around of piles of clothes on my bedroom floor, an overabundance of snacks in my pantry and ten pairs of shoes sitting on the hallway floor waiting to be put away.  The only thing that I lack is the faith and the “center” so I can  trust that tomorrow can take care of itself, because it always does. And you know what this is called – a little thing called faith.

For today, realize that you have made it this far. Even if you are going through a crappy time in your life, think about all the times that you made it through some dark days. Remember how  you good you felt when you did and embrace that feeling right now. Sure, have a plan and set some goals to lay the foundation for a brighter future tomorrow. But use the foundation of today – the you that you are at this very moment – the be the building blocks. Because the you that you are right now – is enough.

So, I am signing off of my computer, walking past the three-foot high piles of clean clothes in my laundry baskets that have yet to be put away and headed straight for my favorite lawn chair in my backyard. It’s time to sit, think, reflect, inhale the day and let tomorrow be what it will be.

And so far, I have yet to be disappointed so I think that is good enough for now, don’t you?

Back in the Driver’s Seat – A Daughter’s Lesson to Her Mom

A funny thing happened to me yesterday, my daughter turned the tables on me.

No, my living room didn’t get rearranged; but, she reminded me of the old adage. You know the one about the mechanic with the broken engine? But for me, it’s the coach who needs a coach.

She is a wise one, my little (or not so little) Maddie Leigh, as I so affectionately call her (which always makes me think of a southern drawl). However, as I went on my cleaning frenzy she gave me a major reality check. As Maddie watched me vacuum, scrub, do laundry, take inventory for a grocery list, and listened to me recall how I was overdue for a haircut and had no time to exercise, she sat me down and looked me dead in the eye.

Uh oh.. you know there’s trouble when one of your kids does this.

She said, “Mom, you need to take your own advice.”

Me: “Huh?”

She said,” That’s exactly what I mean. You tell everyone to live their dreams, plan their goals, and all that good stuff. Look at you. I think it’s time for you to have some fun.”

I couldn’t decide if the seas would part or lightning would strike my house since I had never had such a role-reversal occur in my life. Or, for that matter, been given my own advice served back to me on a silver platter. Don’t you just hate (and love that) at the same time?

But you know what? She was right!

There I sat with a half-smile on my face on the living room couch, with vacuum handle in hand and dust flying from my hair. And, I looked around the house and sure, I saw the results of my hard work. Clean house, nicely scrubbed counter-tops and a laundry room that was less Armageddon-like. Well, I guess that was good.

But you know what? I was bored.

I hadn’t tapped away on my keyboard blogging in over a month, I hadn’t sent out a newsletter in two months and my notes for my book are gathering dust in my office. Little did I realize that I had a little goal-setting angel (or counterpart) who was grounding me when I needed it most. My daughter.

Summertime is nuts – always has been. And I am sure, that is the case for many of you. I have this push and pull with the season. I love the summer, the beach, the bbq’s, the gardening, the lack of schedules for the kids, but I also hate it too. (And that is SO HARD for me to admit!)

Yet, it never fails, at the end of every August, I look it the mirror and go “Wooa! When did that happen?”

I look at my hair and see overgrown roots, circles under my eyes, the crazy amount of work from the office that has piled up on my desk and the list goes on and on. But the biggest casualty are not the mega emails I have yet to respond to, it’s me.

It’s the Patti that I have neglected to respond to.

What do I say over and over to all of you at least once every few weeks? PAY ATTENTION YOUR LIFE.

Well, the pay attention brick slammed me good last night and it was thrown by a very smart 14 year-old.

So, I am professing, confessing with no more b.s.ing.  As Dale Evans most profoundly stated back in the day, “I am back in the saddle again.”

For today, I will blog, write, brainstorm until the steam comes out of my ears and I will love every minute of it – even while the laundry pile grows or as the dishes build in the sink. Because it won’t be the end of the world if there is an even exchange and bartering for a little “Patti time”.

Who knows? Maybe the next blog I write will be read by the OWN Network or one of Ellen D’s assistants, but I will never know until I put it out there.

Who would have thought that my success coach would be 14 year-old Taylor Swift fan, dressed in Billabong clothes?  But she is. I am one proud mom, that’s for sure.

And the bonus? My kids actually listen to me! I have a feeling the rest of the month is going to be a great one. For the record, I have a little goal-setting coach who will make sure of it.

Tip for the Day: Smile When You Need It Most

by Patricia Phelan Clapp M.A. LLC – Transition Coach

After reading this quote by Bill Foster, “Practice being excited,” I had a revelation.

What if we just made up our minds, just for today, to do just that -  “practice being excited” and tapped into that passion that may have been asleep for a few years?

Hmm..interesting idea. But would that make us a happiness-faker? There’s another thought.

However, I believe the big picture goes something like this.

Have you ever reflected on how others see you – especially during times of change in our lives when the ground may be a bit shaky?

I think that we can get caught up in our “crabby” syndrome so much so that it becomes the way we naturally act, think and speak. It becomes our m.o., of sorts. People begin to associate us Crabby Patti’s (no pun intended – but my kids love Sponge Bob, lucky for me to receive this dubious title) and don’t even realize it. As a result, negative associations begin to made and our friends/family/colleagues may even try to avoid hanging out with us. To be temporarily sad, mad, angry, depressed is one thing. But it is another if you start to inadvertently embrace this victim mentality and all that attention this Negative Nellie role may bring you.

Have you ever noticed when people like this come to a party, how the energy seems to be sucked out of the air and the room suddenly begins to part while people are making excuses to leave the conversation?

My point is that we all have bad days. Who doesn’t? But that doesn’t mean they have to define you.

Keep your support system as your shoulder to cry on when life is getting you down. But when you are out and about, why don’t you try “acting as if” for a little while? Most of the time, the crisis and the chaos in our lives are only temporary and may seem even bigger to us when we are smack dab in the center of it all.

Pull yourself out of it for a better view.

Take the time to take a time out, go to that fundraiser, work party, movie with your friend and give yourself permission to put it aside for a while. Be hones with your feelings, acknowledge them but allow yourself to take the time to regroup, smile and reignite that passion again.

Practice being excited.

Sometimes that temporary time-out will give you just enough pep in your step to go back and tackle what you thought was a big problem, that has now dwindled to a teeny bump in the road.

You don’t have to be Meryl Streep to feign a little happiness once in a while. It will just show the world that no matter what, your smile can combat even the darkest of days.

Go on and give it a shot. And do me a favor, know that your smile will light up any room whether you believe it or not.

 

 

“My Rapture Reality Wrap-Up” Tip for the Day: Don’t Wait for an Impending Doomsday to Change Your World – Do it Anyway!

by Patricia Phelan Clapp M.A. LLC – Transition Coach

This whole rapture thing, I have to admit, freaked me out a bit.

I know. I know. With all the positivity coaching I do, both personally and professionally, you would think I would be poster child to avoid all this negativity stuff. The truth is (shoulders shrugged with a deep sigh), I’m not.

Back in late 1999, to tell you the truth, that whole millennium thing did a number on me, too. All of a sudden, a little voice would go off in my mind whispering to me, “What if this is true and the world goes and these weapons of mass destruction go haywire when their calendars read 0 – 0 – 00 and we are all toast? What kind of mom would I be if I didn’t have a stash of Poland Spring water and some Green Giant perishables just in case?” It was the least I could do if we were trapped in our basements for a few months.

Just sayin..

Fast-forward 11 years later to the preaching of Harold Camping. In fact, he reached us here on the East Coast with his “End of the World” billboards being displayed which I happened to notice (how I could I not?) while we were on our way out to dinner in Atlantic Highlands last night. How ironic.

Steve and I were in a celebratory type of mood being that it was post-rapture time (6:30 p.m, in fact), we were still alive and kicking so we decided to celebrate at The Original Oyster with some seafood, a few drinks and a post dinner drive out to Sandy Hook.

Yet, even on our way down Route 36 to enjoy some “we are so glad the world is still here festivities”, I couldn’t believe my eyes. I looked up and saw this massive billboard (which is also adverting this preacher man’s radio, mind you!) from this mid-western preacher who wanted to warn us even here in Monmouth County.

What a nice guy.

As for my own analysis of the situation, well, I’m a control freak, and I am not sure my personality type meshes with this while doomsday thing.

I like to plan, take the wheel and I can even so proudly say that I am a back seat driver even when I am riding in the passenger seat. So how did I feel with the teensy tiny possibility of a seed planted in my mind that quite possibly, my number could be up yesterday?

Well, to put it bluntly, I wasn’t ready to call it a day (for good) just yet.

Phew.

I didn’t want to go down with the ship without a fight. I had a book to write, workshops to host, kids to feed, colleges to go visit with my junior in high school, a 14 year old who needed to buy a graduation dress for her 8th grade graduation and most of all, and I was looking forward to going to the beach next weekend for Memorial Day.

Life is/was good and I wasn’t done yet.

Well, that was a relief.  At least I wasn’t laying in an “X” formation on my front lawn, holding a bottle of wine, drunk as a skunk at 5:59 p.m., declaring to the gods that I was ready. Not a pretty site for the neighbors and I could get a ticket for lewd behavior, anyway.

This whole “I am not ready to die Doomsday thing” can be compared along the lines of a mid-life crisis but with a different spin. I didn’t use the preachings of this quirky preacher man to make an excuse for me to abandon ship and run from my responsibilities. In fact, it did the exact opposite.

I wanted to get my hands (more) dirty, write more, and, simply put, be more.

So, when 5:59 p.m. approached yesterday I prayed that the world wouldn’t end because I wasn’t done yet. And, thank goodness, the big man upstairs agreed.

The exciting news is that I realize (well, affirmed) now that Life (really) is Good – with kids, family, my job, health and the rest of my life. The even better news is that it may have taken an 89 year old, off the wall, preacher to light the spark for me to realize that again. Frankly, I am grateful that it was my spark that was ignited than a too close for comfort meteorite. That’s another story for Camping, I bet.

So the question is, although Doomsday has passed, isn’t it’s time for you to have your own reality check?

How’s your world doing these days?

Does your world just need some spicing up and a good kick-start in the right direction?

Well, that depends. What kind of world are you living in and do you want it to remain that way?  It really is all relative. If you want your world to change, then don’t use the excuse of the impending rapture to change it or not change. Do it anyway.

As for me, my fire is officially lit today I am spending it igniting a few projects I have put on the back burner over the last few years- no pun intended.

Realize one thing – your life is the way it is because that is the way you want it to be. And if you want to change it or to shake things up a bit, don’t wait for an impending doomsday to scare you into doing it.

Do it anyway – that way you will be around long enough to enjoy it. Just makes sense to me!

Be Your Own “Accidental” Success Story – Tips for a Pro

by Patricia Phelan Clapp M.A. LLC – Transition Coach

How many of you have heard the term “accidental success”?

Better yet, do any of you know of anyone who has become their own “accidental success story?”

We all should be so lucky.

My fiance, Steve Scanlon, is a landscaper in the Monmouth County area, here in New Jersey. By trade, he owns a very successful business designing landscapes and cultivating the best lawns in the area. Steve loves his job, the staff that works for him and his clients. It isn’t uncommon for us to see him chatting with a friend standing on their front porch or giving the token “Scanlon Wave” from one of his trucks as he merrily cruises through town, lawn supplies and trailer in tow.

But I hate to say it, his secret is out.

Steve loves to take pictures. Whether it is a picture of a Navesink River sunrise, Sandy Hook beaches or capturing the stillness of the Shrewsbury River, his shots are fantastic. There is no doubt about it, as I am sure many of you would agree.

Lucky for me, I have been witness to this “accidental success” and have experienced his love and passion for his art spill over, literally, to the world of the internet and as with our local friends, family and community. He is an artist. But most of all,  Steve is passionate about what he does, which is the real secret to his “accidental success”.

I have to say,  I am in awe as to how genuine Steve is with his efforts to simply share his pictures day after day for his friends to enjoy them.  There is no fee, no hidden agenda, no notes attached to his posts with a price tag, nothing.  I have watched his little hobby grow purely and strictly from his love to what he does – plain and simple.

Little did Steve know he was poster child for the success principles that I often read from (Chicken Soup for the Soul guy) Jack Canfield’isms, the agenda for Be Your Own Success Story workshop that I teach as well as the foundation to my work as a transition coach.

Poor thing.

One might think that accidental success is purely that, an “accidental success.” However, I believe that there are tips and tools you can cultivate your own success story.

Tips on How to Be Accidentally Successful:

1 – Love What You Do and Work At It

There is no doubt about it, when you are passionate about what you do, you are bound to be a success.  You will be more committed to put the hours in as far as building your business (if you so desire) to take it to the next level because, simply put, you enjoy it. Steve is testimony to this. It’s his love for his art that gets him out of bed in the morning pre-sunrise to go enjoy capturing the moment.

2 – Relish in Your Enthusiasm

If you love your job, you are excited to talk about it. If you love what you do, you will be enthusiastic to discuss it with colleagues and other professional connections. And, as we all know, enthusiasm breeds more enthusiasm.  As for Steve, his love for his home-town is what has cultivated his hobby. He wanted to capture the beauty of the area for the world to see, sharing with that his excitement in which he believes that this really is a wonderful area we live in.

3 – Be Genuine

No matter what kind of success you achieve by taking your passion/hobby to the next level, stay true to its roots. Take note in the effort that got you to this next level – most likely a big part of that was your authenticity and your desire to stay true to you being genuine to what you love to do.  

I think this lesson could go for just about anything. When you peel back that proverbial onion and get to the reason why you do what you do, you are more likely to be authentic and real with yourself and your success. Steve maintains his authenticity, in my book, due to his desire to show the nature of the area, instead of focusing on the material aspects of life. His love of the outdoors mixed with his keen eye really display his authentic view of the Two River area. He is not caught up in what is the trend, so to speak. He is dedicated to his art and what keeps him passionate as to why he started taking pictures in the first place. 

4 – Appreciate How You Got There

Steve is great at this. Almost each day he thanks his Facebook fans for their “likes” and comments – and he really means it.  Don’t forget that for every step you take up the ladder of success, there was, most likely, people helping you move forward.

Don’t forget about those people who had a belief in your abilities, even before you did! I have to say, through my own professional journey, Steve was my biggest cheerleader. And, without getting too mushy on all of you, I don’t really know where I would be without him, my parents, friends, colleagues and my FB family.

We all doubt ourselves at one time or another, the key is to not let those self-doubts seep in and take over. By showing gratitude for your world at the present moment and the people that helped you get there. will breed more of the same positivity. Plus, who doesn’ t like to be told “thank you” a time or two?” 

5 – Do More of the Same

Know what works and do more of the same.  On the flip side, know what doesn’t work when it comes to wanting to grow your passion into a career. Identify key traits as to what has helped you get this far and go from there.  Constant assessment is the key to continual progression, focus, and clarity when looking towards your goals.

It’s been fun being a bystander to this “accidental success” of someone to whom I love very much.  Steve’s charm and ability to remain humble and in awe of his success is, to say the least, entertaining and touching.

As for me, I will sit idly by with my pom-pom in  hand cheering Steve on from the sidelines. And no matter what, I believe that his secret is out.

Accidentally successful? Nah, I beg to differ. I think Steve knew was he doing all along.  (wink wink)

Whether it is Be Your Own Success Story or Be Your Own “Accidental” Success Story - it really doesn’t matter, the outcome is still the same.

Maybe it’s time for Steve to teach me a thing or two?

Stay tuned!

Keep the faith,

Patti

To see more of Steve’s pictures, check out his Facebook fan page at: www.facebook.com/stevescanlonphotography

The Vacation That Almost Wasn’t – Tip for the Day: Avoid the Tornadoes and Look for the Blue Skies Ahead

One thing is for sure, when you have the opportunity to go on vacation, slow the pace of your life down a bit and inhale the day, the scenery changes for sure – literally.

As for me, well, I just got back from a rather eventful trip this past Saturday. I have to say, all the planets were definitely not in alignment and getting to our destination would have made most run for the hills.  All  I wanted to do was get back to my comfy bed and pull the sheets over my head, but thank goodness, I didn’t.

It turned out to be a wonderful week in Hilton Head, South Carolina.

We should have paid attention to the signs. Well, before we even left for Hilton Head  started our vacation  with a to the doctor realizing my fiance’s daughter had strep throat which many parents would deem – Strike One.

Luckily a dose of antibiotic she was feeling better so we packed the car and left for our week of sun, fun and relaxation – or so I thought.

Preparing for the Storm

Finally, after leaving four hours after our original start time, we hit bumper to bumper traffic which prompted us to have to stop six hours earlier than planned.  The fun had just begun (NOT!) when we realized that the hotel we decided to at was, let’s just say, less than accommodating when the second bed for each room was literally wheeled on a 90 degree angle – (I AM NOT KIDDING!) and rather eerily resembled a trundle bed from the 60′s sitcom The Brady Bunch – so much so that I let out a loud, delirious yet hysterical laugh when the bell hop brought it in the room which had straps holding the mattress to the rusty bed frame with puffs of dust filling the air when he dropped it to the ground.

After a not so restful sleep, my fiance, our two daughters, and myself, armed with coffee, doughnuts and better attitudes gave it a second go round for the remaining 10 hours of our trip.

Little did we know that the action was just getting started on our not so fun adventure.

After four hours of gridlock traffic, I tuned into the weather report on my iPhone only to realize we were headed straight in the middle of multiple tornado warnings.Not wanting to alarm the girls, I did my best attempt of sign language making a twirling sign to Steve while he drove which, by the way, didn’t work very well. Thinking I was insinuating he was nuts – making the twirling motion – he was less than thrilled to sit and try to decipher while driving, mind you, my lame attempt to tell him TORNADO AHEAD! If you didn’t think I wanted to jump right on his lap and yell – JUST TAKE ME AND THE KIDS HOME – Well you are wrong! I DID!

Take Cover and “Chill” Out

We headed toward Rocky Mount, North Carolina around 5:00 p.m. when we started to see the sky get all weird in color – part grey, part black and yellow – something I had never seen before – it was then  I just looked at him and said, “We have to stop.”

The girls knew something was up when the local radio station kept playing alert sirens and telling everyone in the listening area to take cover. All I knew is that if i didn’t get the visions of Toto, Dorothy and a floating house out of my head, I was going to need tranquilizer.

Luckily, our “take cover” was  a local Chili’s restaurant and not a muddy ditch along Interstate 95, so I was able to calm my nerves over some spicy chicken fingers and a Diet Coke.

But the drama didn’t end there. You know it’s not a good sign when you walk in a restaurant and the entire staff is biting their fingernails, on the verge of tears, watching the weather channel. Not realizing exactly where we were on the map that was shown brightly on the television screen, I asked very quietly to the waitress, “Where are we?”

Not so lucky for us – she pointed a the big red circle that kept flashing on the television screen and said “Right there.” I almost passed out.

We discussed where we would go if the tornado hit. Steve checked out the bathroom while I talked to the waitress about going into the kitchen. Never in a million years did I think this would be a conversation I would be having with a 19-year-old dressed in a red Chili’s t-shirt. But it was.

The Storm Front Approaches

The good news – but sad news for those people who suffered – was that we missed two tornadoes by about 15 minutes since we were both north and south of where they touched down in two locations. Sadly, we were able to see the devastation on our return trip which was a sight that I will never forget.

Needless to say, I had 10 more hours and 7 more days to think about all this and I have been able to come to this conclusion  when it comes to life and the lessons we learn.

Metaphorically speaking, on a much lesser scale, we all experience tornadoes, or as I say it, bouts of unexpected drama in our lives. Whether it is created by us or they are a result of the relationships we have, either way, they can knock us off our feet and down for the count.

The point is – how do we deal with these sudden gusts of wind that can sneak up on us?

What’s a person to do when they aren’t prepared to take cover? Do we just go lie in a ditch and wait for the storm to pass?

What I Have Learned

For me, I have experienced a multitude of storm fronts during my (almost) 43 years (as of tomorrow!) However, the biggest crime we can commit is our ability not use these times of change, distress, chaos, whatever, to not learn a thing or two about our survival skills.

Rather, we need to highlight and recognize the instincts and coping mechanisms that we do have as well as the one’s we learn during these trying times of change.

As I have said to my client’s time and time again, if you are in a relationship when you keep being pulled into that proverbial emotinoal tornado, the first thing I say is, “How is that working for you?”

Most of the time, the comment is followed by sighs, shrugged shoulders and curt answers such as “It’s not.”

Take Cover and Get Out of the Way

So, if you are being pulled into someone else’s windstorm and it’s really not working for you, well, the best thing is to take yourself out of the path and let them spin. By no means am I advocating you to ditch your friend, colleague, etc., I am simply saying support them from afar so you don’t enable their Self Created Chaos. (S.C. C. as I call it)

You have come too far to define yourself to be constantly sucked into the vacuum of emotional craziness when that person, in a sense, likes it. Sometimes, the victim role is what works for some and that constant state of chaos becomes the norm. As I get older, when it comes to this stuff, I am simply too tired and to be quite honest with, would rather spend time with my family than hours on the phone with someone who is set on complaining and not doing anything about their chaos, anyway.

As for the other storm fronts that come our way, the best advice I can say is “What did you learn from them?”

Don’t Get Rattled By that Tiny Wind Gust

For me, I have learned a multitude of things from these bouts of transition and instability – such as I am stronger than I think. Also, I have realized that when the big stuff comes along, I sometimes handle these tornadoes better than the light wind gusts, which is something that I need to work on.

In a nutshell, I am trying my best not to sweat the small stuff so when a bigger issue comes along, I have the strength to handle it. Also, I don’ want to wish away the sunny days worrying about the impending bad weather ahead.

As you know, the weather, like the lives we lead, is very unpredictable.

The good news is, we got to Hilton Head safe and sound after leaving New Jersey a mere (chuckle) 27 hours later – but it was worth the trip.  Luckily, three novels, yummy seafood dinners, fun with friends, and a few umbrella drinks later, it was one of the best vacations I have had in a long time.

Waitin’ On a Sunny Day

What  did I learn from the contrast of going from tornado warnings to 75 degrees and sunny?

Just realize that no matter what, you have the ability to deal with anything that comes your way.  All it takes is a bit of intuition, a positive attitude and don’t be afraid to tune into your local weather channel.

My prediction for you are … blue skies ahead. But you have to believe it to see it.

Keep the faith,

Patti

Harbor Town, South Carolina

If You Had a Magic Wand – What Would You WIsh For? Life Lessons With Glinda

by Patricia Phelan Clapp M.A. LLC – Transition Coach

I have to confess something, each time I post a quote or write an article, if you look in-between the lines, it inadvertently and kind of secretly, links back to me.

Usually, what I am writing about, is something I am working on personally. As I most eloquently tell my clients as well as my friends, I am walking up the mountain with you on your journey. No, I not yelling down at you from the top of this mountain with my hands on my hips telling you to hurry up.  I am linking my arms around yours and we are walking with you and on this journey – together. The difference is, I am the crazy one on the computer each day trying to make sense out of my life and want to share these tips with you – I like to call myself the “human highlighter”.  So, instead of you reading all of these self-help books, I will get out my imaginary yellow pen and share with you the good parts. At least I hope I am!

Anyway, this is my “AHA” moment of the  week.

Swirling Words – Where Do They Come From?

As I have said in the past, themes seem to be swirling around in my head week after week. This makes me laugh just thinking about it as I see words, phrases, pictures, spinning about me like I am a cartoon. I swear, its The Universe showing me the chapters that are yet to be written appearing out of nowhere for my book. Lucky for me, that is happening. Now it’s time to get on it and do it! Anyway, this “theme for the week” is as follows – when you don’t know what to do, it’s time to start to ask some big questions.

Hmmm..that always seems to be the hard part.

The Power of Vision – Picture This!

For instance, what I posted on my Facebook page today was the importance of vision and how we need to envision your day turning out exactly like you want it to be.  Now, the question is, how many times do you ask yourself, “What is my ideal day?”Being a big believer in vision, I do this on a daily basis, but it takes work. Now, the big question is – do you even know how you want your day to turn-out? Or on a grander scale, do you even know what you want out of your life?

I can practically see the shrugging of the shoulders and the look of worry encompassing your faces right now. And believe me, I get it!

We spend most of our life doing what we think we are supposed to do, should do, and what we think others want us to do, that we very rarely tap into the part of our selves that represents “what we want to do”. The premise of my workshops all starts with this and I would like to share some tools with you.

Be Like Glinda and Wave that Magic Wand

I love to say this, and I do all the time. Then I start to crack up like I am Glinda the Good Witch with a few more wrinkles. But, I have to say it.

If I could wave the magic wand and grant you any wish, what would you ask for?

I want you to think about it. For real. You don’t have to know the exact job, where you will live, etc., just list a few things about how you want to feel. Such as:

I want to be happy.

I want to be at peace.

I want to feel balance.

I want to be more financially independent.

I want to finish my book.

I want to run in a 5K.

I want to slow down and enjoy my family more.

I want to go on vacation to a place I have never seen before.

I want an organized basement.

(FYI – that is my list – not too far-fetched, is it?

Anyway, you get the drift. The key is to make the list yet to keep it focused on the positive and how you want to feel.  I call these “feeling goals” and they can be used as a starting point when you are in a state of not knowing what you want. Don’t write what you don’t want and don’t want to do. That will only yield more of the same results, as I am a big believer in the laws of attraction. So, by doing this task of listing what you want, you will start to envision the life you want. All you have to do is start with baby steps by starting to feel the way you want to feel when your goals are achieved.

What’s the Plan?

The next step is, to figure out how to get there, and many times this will incorporate some changes.

What can you do personally and/or professionally to get you closer to these “feeling goals?”

For me, it was to re-asses my work schedule to make more time for my writing and workshops. Since I love teaching to groups of people (the teacher in me!) I want to start to bring people together to not only help them put a plan together to live their best life, but to get like-minded, ambitious, enthusiastic, eager, inspirational people in a room together to share stories, to mentor, motivate and support each other. It seems like such a winning combination but this takes planning.  Also, I need to make the time to put my book together, which will in turn, bring me much happiness since I have dreamed about this since I was a little kid.

Now, if I was really Glinda the Good Witch (well, I am the witch part sometimes, just ask my kids!) I could get all this done with the wave of a wand, but I can’t. It takes planning and commitment to get closer to your “feeling goals.”

What do you want to change in your life?

How do you want to feel in the next year or two?

What would you like to do, have, see, be when you “grow up?”

It’s never too late to be the you that you want to be. All it takes is five small steps.

5 Steps to Get You in The Right Direction

1. Identify your goal

2. Come up with a plan

3. Do it!

4. Reassess – what is working and not working and go from there.

5. Do it again!

What will you do today to create a tomorrow you are committed to? Well, as you can see, you must have a nice conversation with yourself and ask some questions. Once you do, I bet you will be surprised on how you feel when you are done with this little talk with yourself.

As Nike Says – JUST DO IT!

Be courageous and dare yourself to go to the next level and explore your “feeling goals.”  There is no doubt in my mind that this time next year you will be glad you listened to yourself. And if you don’t listen to yourself, nobody else will.

I challenge you today to live the life you imagine and I encourage you to take the steps to get you there. For every small “feeling goal” will get you one step closer to those bigger dreams of yours. And know one thing, I will be there with you every step of the way.

Keep the faith,

Patti

The Power of “I Am”

by Patricia Phelan Clapp M.A. LLC – Transition Coach

No, this isn’t a tribute to the Black-Eyes Peas, but that would be fun.

Who doesn’t love it when Fergie harmonizes with the lyrics “Tonight’s Gonna Be a Good Night”? She’s not the only one.  Their producer and front-man, Will, did manage to get something right when he succinctly dubbed himself “Will.i.am”. And, he most definitely knew what he was talking about when he chose this pretty crafty title as to proclaiming, (which I am assuming he was right on target!) who he was.

Now, the question is, do you?

Two Very Powerful Words

This topic came up last Thursday during one of my workshops. A very wise newcomer shared with us her tools on how to get herself pumped and ready to start her day. And how does she do this? Well, it’s with those two little words we most often take for granted – “I am.”

For many of us, we tend to use statements when describing ourselves with words with less punch, such as “I hope, I want, or wish” and so on. Very rarely do we just put it out there for the world to hear and state with conviction with that powerful phrase ” I am…..”

The Experiment

I tried this experiment for a day or two and it was kind of fun. Whenever I caught myself saying statements such as, “I wish I was more organized”, I pressed the old rewind button and went for the rephrase and redo. Instead, I said, “I am organized. ” You get the drift.

How did it feel? Well, to be honest with I felt a bit “caveman-esque” and “King Kong-like” (worried I may start to beat my chest) when constantly stating these words of affirmation and declaration. But, to be honest with you, it felt good to stop skirting the issue of who I thought I was or wanted to be. I took care of that with “I am!”.

Be the Warrior Of Your Own Words

I don’t think many of us do this naturally, at least I don’t know many “I Am” warriors, except for the pretty cool woman I met last Thursday night. It’s too bad that we so readily shoot ourselves down and don’t use statements of affirmations as often as we should. Because, most of the time, we so easily share them with our friends, family, co-workers and even acquaintances. Especially for women, I hate to say, we are just too darn hard on ourselves. For whatever the reason, this seems to be the norm.

Who would have thought that a Black-Eyed Pea could have so much insight? But, he does.

Learn a thing or two from Mr. Will.i.am and see how far you can get simply by putting yourself in his shoes. Learn to use self-proclaimed statements of affirmation.. It’s easy; all you have to do is simply change the words a bit.

Whether you are Will.i.am or Sam I Am, know one thing, the person you are and are going to be will thank you for it.

Keep the faith,

Patti I Am

What’s Luck Got to Do With It?

by Patricia Phelan Clapp M.A. LLC – Transition Coach

As I sit here today enjoying this beautiful St. Paddy’s day, I am thinking about how much “luck” I have had in my life. Sure, I have had better years than others, but for the most, part, I have been one lucky girl.

The most important thing about luck, is that it has to start in a place of gratitude. To feel lucky, you have to appreciate and be thankful. That is what I love about this word; really, its home is a place that begins with simply being grateful.

For today, I want you to reflect on all the times when you felt fortunate and when all was going right in your world. Remember how you felt and what it took to get there. Notice the “right” in your past, instead of the wrong.

Was it sheer “luck” that you got to that place or were your eyes wide open and were you merely paying attention to your life? Don’t forget, you have to be looking for a four-leaf clover to find one!

At this very moment, know how lucky you really are.

Count your blessings big and small and see how wonderful your world truly is. By doing this, you are welcoming more of the same “energy” into your life rather than focusing on the bad things.

And remember, your “pot ‘o gold” may be right there in front of you, all you have to do is look for it. No matter what, the luck of the Irish, or better yet YOU, will be right there next to you where it should be. Wow, you really are a lucky leprechaun, aren’t you?

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!!

Patti

 

 

The Power Of Boundaries

by Patricia Phelan Clapp M.A. LLC – Transition Coach

Success Tip for the Day: Don’t be afraid to set your boundaries.

For today, evaluate ways in which you can set boundaries personally and/or professionally. You will reclaim so much more of your life again once you do! Are your morals, goals and beliefs, in sync with the tasks you perform on a daily basis?

Sometimes, it’s as simple as “drawing the line in the sand” to clear your mind and gain more of a positive momentum in your life, which can be so liberating! By abolishing this need to “do syndrome”, you will start to have a bit more pep in your step once you lose that fear-based mentality by gaining back more self-respect and self-esteem.

When you own your time (and life again) things will start to change – you have one more tool to assist you with that exciting journey of yours towards your best life.